Who Said It? South Park vs. Hitchens

In Christopher Hitchens, Comedy, rW Exclusives | Monday, April 6th, 2009

Rules

You are presented below with 25 quotes. You must guess to whom each of them belong: a South Park character or Christopher Hitchens.

Here We Go!

Cults are dangerous because they promise you hope, happiness, and maybe even an afterlife, but in return they demand that you pay money. Any religion that requires you to pay money in order to move up and learn its tenets is wrong.



The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.



One could happily make a case that more random civilians, and fewer fucking lawyers, should be on the court.



It is not enough to have free speech. People must learn to speak freely.



If Jesus could heal a blind person he happened to meet, then why not heal blindness?



In response to celebrity psychic John Edward: "No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real. The big questions in life are tough: Why are we here? Where are we from? Where are we going? [...] You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind."



Public schools may be a bit lacking in education, but it's the main place where children learn all of their social skills. You can't teach a child social skills. They have to learn them themselves. And the only place to do that is on the playground, in the cafeteria, and so on.



You're scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want?



Europeans think Americans are fat, vulgar, greedy, stupid, ambitious and ignorant and so on. And they've taken as their own, as their representative American, someone (ed: Michael Moore) who actually embodies all of those qualities.



I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.



If we use lies and exaggerations to keep kids off drugs, then they're never going to believe anything we tell them.



My own opinion is enough for me, and I claim the right to have it defended against any consensus, any majority, anywhere, any place, any time. And anyone who disagrees with this can pick a number, get in line and kiss my ass.



I'm growing concerned about the role models young women have in today's society. [...] It seems that lewdness and shallowness are being exalted, while intellectualism is looked down upon. [...] I think young women are being marketed to by corrupt, moral-less corporations.



Terrorism is the tactic of demanding the impossible, and demanding it at gunpoint.



What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.



God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God.



The main point we would like to make is that oftentimes it is prudent to change history. As times change, we hope to grow and as we grow our rules must change. It is a natural part of evolution.



Putting walls up never helps anything. Tearing them down brings us together.



You can't judge the merits of voting on whether or not your candidate won.



I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what’s going on in their kids’ lives, this world would be a much better place.



If you gave [Jerry] Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.



Public opinion is often wrong, mob opinion is almost always wrong, [and] religious opinion is wrong by definition.



The plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic. There’s a logical explanation for every psychic story you’ve ever heard.



Christians use Hell as a way to scare people into believing what they believe. But to believe in something just because you're afraid of the consequences if you dont believe in something is no reason to believe in something.



Why, if God was the creator of all things, were we supposed to "praise" him for what came naturally?





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19 comments on “ Who Said It? South Park vs. Hitchens ”

F. Andy Seidl says:
April 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Great quiz idea! It’s surprising how rational South Park can be.

Phil says:
April 7, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Man, I kept wanting to put Hitchens for all of them! Lol

hexag1 says:
April 8, 2009 at 12:28 am

i have heard hitchens say the most overrated thing as
champagne, strawberries, and anal sex

Billq says:
April 8, 2009 at 7:45 pm

I always liked Southpark, now I know why!

matt says:
April 8, 2009 at 8:28 pm

18/25 first time!! thats 72% correct

FYI odds of making a 100 by sheer guessing are 1 in 298,023,223

Mark Hiatt says:
April 8, 2009 at 9:52 pm

Great quiz idea! It’s surprising how irrational Christopher Hitchens can be.

Ed says:
April 9, 2009 at 1:01 am

14/25. Interesting quiz.

Actually, the odds of getting 25/25 by guessing all the questions is 1 in 33,554,432 or 0.00000002980232239%.

BeamStalk says:
April 9, 2009 at 8:54 am

22 of 25 because I watch South Park a lot. My GF’s kid loves the show. I need to read more Hitchens.

Who Said It? South Park Or Hitchens? - The Atheist Blogger says:
April 9, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[...] is a great idea for a quiz. Both South Park and Christopher Hitchens are often highly controversial and anti-religious, so can [...]

MMacKay40 says:
April 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm

21 for 25 and I’ve never watched South Park, although I did enjoy “Team America: World Police.”

From the Depths of the Tangent File | Jason McGlone says:
April 11, 2009 at 12:49 pm

[...] South Park or Christopher Hitchens? [...]

The Infidel Guy says:
April 11, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Cool.. I’m “Competent”! :)

The New Atheist » Blog Archive » Fresh From Twitter: Just scored 10/25 … says:
April 12, 2009 at 7:41 pm

[...] scored 10/25 on the Who Said It? South Park vs. Hitchens quiz. http://bit.ly/EgX9 – South Park is deeper than I [...]

aston98 says:
April 15, 2009 at 8:17 am

22 outa 25 bitches.
It’s probably all the south park I watch

Travis says:
April 16, 2009 at 6:42 pm

I am a huge fan of Hitchens, but I have been watching South Park since ‘97
20 out of 25

Chris says:
May 14, 2009 at 12:28 am

In response Mark Hiatt, the point of this is that Hitchens is irrational, but how socially relevant South Park is.

Kevstar says:
May 19, 2009 at 4:41 am

Brilliant idea. 20/25. Some excellent quotes too. And anyone who disagrees with me can pick a number, get in line and kiss my ass.

Cheers,

-k

Ric says:
November 20, 2009 at 12:30 am

20/25

Some I have no heard. The 5 that I got wrong were guesses.

Stephen Dedalus says:
March 8, 2010 at 6:38 pm

24/25. The line that tripped me up was :”It is not enough to have free speech. People must learn to speak freely.” It sounded just a bit too trite to be a Hitchen-ism. In any case, great quiz!

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